They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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