Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
