It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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