READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
this boner is exhausting
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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