Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
And then he peed in my hair
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