You work out of a Hotel?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
