I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
false alarm, still single
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize