i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
