you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
