If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
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Beer Popsicles are better in theory
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.