Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.

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(516): View more from New York

ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(408): View more from California

we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.

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(216): View more from Ohio

I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.

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(801): View more from Utah

Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.

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