Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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