I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
