now i know why i became what i already was.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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