This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
