Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
