Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.