Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.