And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction