i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay