If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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