If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
