just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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