I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
