On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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