Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
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Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
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also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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