I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
