well most of my day revolves around power hour
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
