i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
