I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
