when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
