Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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