i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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