I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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