i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
