Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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