He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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