Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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