just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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