oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
