i permit you to call me
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
