there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
