just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
