i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
