Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
