i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
