i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Randomize
