I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's blow job season.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
