we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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