Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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