Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
