So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
