Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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