and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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