I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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