dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize