It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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