she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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