I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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