Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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