it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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