I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
