omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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