I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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