Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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